Burdens of choice

Sometimes we feel pressured to make a choice. It's a question whether that pressure makes us see things more clearly or just the opposite.

There are though at least two things that might help us make better choices and feel better about it. To ease or shift the pressure.


First, do we understand what is this choice for? Why is it important? Will our values, principles, ideas help us steer how we look at it or are they restricting it? If this is a choice someone else had to make, would it feel different? Is there something that is holding us back - what is that about? What do we fear? What could we gain? Are we attached to the outcome? Why? If there were no limits, would we look at this choice in the same way? Are we curious to see what is behind the choices? Is this a choice we need to make alone? Could it be a shared choice?


Second, how could we be more generous with what we see as our options? Too often, we see ourselves in a yes / no scenario. That might be a false choice. How could we look at it much much much more generously? Are these the only choices? What else? And what else? And if we zoom out, what else? What if we were kinder to ourselves? What if we were kinder to those this choice impacts? Would that open more options? What if we were more detached from the outcome? Can we use this choice to learn something? Can we think of more ways this allows us or others to grow? How could we frame this differently? How could we approach this from another angle?

Suddenly, from a yes / no choice.... you have so many more options. Some feel good, some terrible, sure. But we might feel less stuck and more open.

Sometimes with choices we need to diverge, explore and expand before we converge and narrow down on those options that we believe take us closer to where we want to be. Closer to who we want to be. In doing so, we become more open to possibility along the way.

And always, we can choose to be kinder and more generous with ourselves - especially when what we're choosing is important and not urgent.

What if it’s more about how we look at the choices instead of the choices themselves?